


Raising Boys

by theboymichaelshanks_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Gen Work, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-18
Updated: 2004-12-18
Packaged: 2019-03-16 12:33:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13636380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theboymichaelshanks_archivist/pseuds/theboymichaelshanks_archivist
Summary: When Kat's away.





	Raising Boys

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Boy / Michael Shanks](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Boy_Fanfiction_Archive), wand was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Boy / Michael Shanks collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/theboymichaelshanks/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** This idea came from a posting at the gengate group and from the song Mr. Mom by Lonestar.

  
Author's notes: This idea came from a posting at the gengate group and from the song Mr. Mom by Lonestar.  


* * *

Raising Boys

### Raising Boys

#### by LD Steen

Date Archived: 12/18/04  
Website: http://www.geocities.com/chilipepperz61/index.html  
Status: Complete  
Category: Humor, Gen story, Alternate Universe  
Characters/Pairings: Dr. Daniel Jackson, Gen. George Hammond     No Pairing         
Rating: G  
Spoilers:   
Permission to archive: TheBoy Archive  
Series: Little Danny Universe  
Notes: This idea came from a posting at the gengate group and from the song Mr. Mom by Lonestar.  
Warnings: None  
Disclaimer: Stargate characters not mine, I can only wish they were.  
Summary: When Kat's away.

* * *

Raising Boys  
By LD Steen (Chilipepperz) 

0600: 

"I just have to go meet with the publisher. It won't take long. Are you sure you can handle the boys?" 

George sat back in his recliner with a snort of amusement. Of course he could handle the boys. Did the woman think he was helpless? This would be a piece of cake. He used the remote to turn on the tv and settled in for a long nap. He was just dozing off when he heard the flush of a toilet followed by a loud "Uh oh". 

"Dad" Danny's voice shouted from the bathroom. "You'd better come here!" George leapt from the chair and headed for the bathroom. "Hurry!" Danny added. Georges foot caught in the flow of water coming from the room and he went down hard. He pulled himself up from the floor just as Danny pushed hard at the toilet with the plunger. A strange gurgle came from the abused commode and George looked down to see a stuffed rabbit floating to the top. He gingerly retrieved the animal and threw it into a nearby trash can. 

"I told you it wouldn't go down." Danny groused at Jason who stood nearby with a smug grin. 

* * *

0630: 

George set the oven on 350 and poured the batter into the cake pan. He dumped the bowl into the sink and quickly washed it. He searched for a drying cloth, finally retrieving it from under the sink. He was putting the bowl away when he caught a whiff of something burning. 

"What the..." 

He turned to see dark smoke pouring from the oven. Suddenly the smoke alarm blared to life as George opened the oven door, releasing a plumb of smoke. He coughed and reached blindly into the appliance with an oven mitt When he felt something solid he pulled it out, gasping as the smoke hit his lungs. He stared at the offending item in his hands in disbelief. 

"Jason, why exactly is your remote control car in the oven?" 

Outside he could hear the blare of sirens as the fire truck pulled up to their house. 

* * *

0715: 

George was still coughing as he signed the papers from the fire department. He glared at the firefighters as they walked away chuckling. Jason and Danny stood nearby, transfixed by the huge red fire truck. 

"I'm hungry." Danny whined. George sighed. 

"Go get dressed. We'll go get breakfast at Denny's" 

The boys took off cheering. They were down a few minutes later, fully dressed and ready to go. George hustled them into the car and started it. He ran it for a few moments, just to warm up the engine, when a loud blast suddenly came from then back end. He hurried around to the rear of the car to find the tail pipes smoking and pine needles and mud dripping down. Several neighbors had come out to see what the commotion was. George brushed the remainder of the gunk from the pipe and started away from the house. Both boys sat quietly until a sudden rattling came from the side of the car. George stopped the engine and the rattling stopped. Confused, he started the car again and the rattling started again. 

"I think it's the marbles" Danny muttered softly. 

"What marbles?" George almost shouted. 

"The ones we put in the gas tank" 

"Why in the name of Heaven would you put marbles in the gas tank?" 

Danny shrugged and looked away. Jason smirked. 

"I wanted to see if they'd float." 

George sighed as he turned the car back into the driveway. 

"We'll just take the truck." 

"Cool" Jason grinned "can we ride in the back?" 

* * *

0830: 

The waitress looked at the two boys with an evil glare. Everything was going great until Jason had tried to show Danny how to make a catapult out of a spoon, using oatmeal for ammo. The waitress had spent the next several minutes helping an elderly lady clean the oatmeal out of her hair. George quickly paid for the meal and pulled the protesting boys out of the restaurant. 

"But it was funny!" Jason protested loudly, his voice echoing through the place as everyone else stopped to stare. 

* * *

0930: 

"OK, you boys go pick up the yard. I'll get a load of clothes going." 

George handed them the box of garbage bags and headed to the washroom. he threw a load of clothes into the washer and went into the living room where his recliner seemed to be calling to him. he had no sooner sat down than he heard a bloodcurdling scream.He hurried out the the front yard to find Danny curled up on the ground, clutching his arm. George checked the appendage and found a long but shallow cut. Nearby he saw a garbage bag blowing in the wind. 

"What happened?" 

"The bag broke." Danny sniffled. 

"What were you doing?" 

"I jumped off the garage roof. I used a parachute like you do, but it didn't work." 

"You used a parachute?" 

"Uh huh" Danny gestured at the garbage bag which was now caught up in the fence. " but it broke" 

"Why would you use a garbage bag for a parachute?" 

"It worked on the cartoons." 

"Where's Jason?" 

"Out back" 

George carried his son into the back yard where he found Jason dumping something into the swimming pool. 

"What are you doing?" George questioned, eying a floating red mass suspiciously. 

"Putting jello into the pool." 

"Why?" 

Jason looked up at him with innocent brown eyes. "So I can walk on water." 

"Walk on water!" George spluttered in disbelief. Suddenly the floating mass was sucked into the filter with a disgusting gurgle and the pump let out a painful groaning sound. There was a knocking noise then there was a sudden silence as the pump died. 

* * *

1020: 

George showered off the last of the quivering red mass from the pool filter. He had sent Danny and Jason into their rooms for a nap and planned to enjoy the break. He had just dozed off when he heard the breaking of glass. He hurried into Jason's room. 

The boy stood in the middle of the bed with a mitt on one hand, staring at the ceiling fan. 

"What happened?" 

"It was so cool Dad. did you know that you can hit a homer with the ceiling fan? Look, the ball went clean through the window." 

"You don't mess around with the ceiling fans son, they aren't toys." 

"You'd better tell that to Danny then." 

"Why?" 

"Well, you remember the paint in the garage..." 

* * *

1200: 

George scooped all the clothes from the washer and transfered them to the dryer. He had just finished the transfer when he smelled something strange. 

"Dad!" He heard Danny shout. He hurried to the driveway where the cry was coming from. He opened her door to find smoke billowing down the block from his walkway. Jason and Danny stood nearby, coughing violently as the smoke blew towards them. 

"Now what?" George gasped 

"Brake fluid" Danny coughed 

"And bleach." Jason added helpfully. 

The wail of a fire truck was already audible as he pulled them both out of the thick mist of smoke. 

* * *

1400: 

George slammed the door to the dryer closed. It had taken over an hour to clear up the boys' latest fiasco and while he had done that, Jason had somehow gotten bubblegum in Danny's hair. He was sure Kat would be upset by her son's new haircut, but frankly he didn't much care at the moment. He viciously stabbed the start button. 

At least the boys were finally asleep, he told himself. Then he heard the thumping. He hurried to the boys' rooms, but they were indeed asleep. Following the sound to its source, he flung open the dryer. Bear burst out in a huge fluff of statically charged fur. The Siamese staggered around for a moment before stopping in front of a dumbfounded George. He meowed pitifully and promptly threw up on George's stockinged feet. Suddenly he tore through the house at a run, making a beeline for George and Kat's room. George ripped off the dripping wet socks and threw them into the dirty clothes pile before following the deranged cat. He caught up with him on the king sized water bed just as Bear unsheathed his claws. George dived for the cat, but Bear was faster and his claws tore a clean five inch cut into the water bed. Water poured out as the cat dove for shelter under the bed. It was at that minute he heard the front door open. 

"George honey, I'm home." 

"Just a second honey," George purred through gritted teeth as he drug Bear clawing out from under the bed, water poured over the sides of the bed and into the thick carpeting below. He came out of the room to find Kat in the doorway to Jason's room. 

"Did they give you any trouble?" Kat questioned as she checked on Jason. 

"Nope" George lied "They were perfect angels." 

Kat moved on to Danny's room and there were a few moments of silence as they watched him sleep. 

"Do you want to explain what happened to Danny's hair?" Kat questioned softly. George was quiet for a minute then he shook his head. 

"Ummm, no, not really." 

Kat nodded understandingly. 

"Then I suppose I'm not going to find out why Danny's room now has purple paint everywhere and why there's a dog leash hanging from his ceiling fan?" 

"That would be a definite no." 

Kat looked down as water squished between George's toes as he walked across the carpet. He gave her a quick kiss and walked away. He stopped for a moment. 

"Honey, did I ever tell you that you're my hero?" He questioned softly. 

Kat just smiled knowingly and headed towards the living room. 

The end   
  


* * *

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to LD Steen


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